grayelectrum:

hiddlesperfection:

kinglokiofmidgard:

tenementdrowser:

intotheeyeofaduck:

themaster23:

bartyjoonyah:

astudyinlestrade:

yarndere:

onewingedeagle:

jesumonster:

veelafreckles:

Running over the hotel lobby, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh Veela! And he gives a low cry:

“I’m going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!!”

Prowling out of the tundra, carrying buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Jessica! And she gives a low howl:

“I’m going to smash you until you acquire caulrophobia, and trade you for a candy bar!!!”

(just for the record, caulrophobia isn’t a word. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns…)

Running along the tarmac, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Sare! And she gives an ominous bellow:

“This one’s for you, mom! You are made of meat and I am very hungry!!”

Hark! Who is that, prowling over the cliffs! It is Rin, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh:

“I’m seriously going to punch you until you scream like a banshee!!!”

Zang! Who is that, rampaging amidst the tundra! It is Rashmi, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a spectacular cry, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to brutalize you until you deflate!!!”

Sprinting through the wasteland, brandishing a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Amanda! And she gives a booming scream:

“I’m going to smack you until you deflate, and add a notch to my bedpost!!”

Striding along the hotel lobby, brandishing a meaty axe, cometh The Master! And he gives a gutteral howl:

“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I bring darkness and mayhem until everything has croaked!!”

Skulking on the icy wasteland, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Jessica! And she gives a spectacular scream:

“I’m going to smash you like it’s a new extreme sport!!!”

Striding along the mountains, swinging a meaty axe, cometh Tenementdrowser! And she gives a booming scream:

“I’m going to beat you until you are tax-deductible, and trade you for a candy bar!!”

Sprinting over the candy store, swinging a studded crowbar, cometh Loki! And he gives a cruel howl:

“I’m going to hump you beyond your expiration date!”

Prowling over the steppes, carrying a thorned whip, cometh Hiddlesperfection! And she gives a booming roar:

“Hail the blood-letting! I pillage until my glands are satisfied!!”

Prowling out of the plains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using two hardened pitas, cometh Grayelectrum! And she gives a vengeful scream:

“I’m seriously going to fuck you like a wrecking ball!!!”

Hark! Who is that, skulking along the mountains! It is Mia, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a cruel cry, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to brutalize you so thoroughly, your screams will shatter lightbulbs world-wide!!”

(Source: chantillyxlacey)